Frequently Asked Questions

Why did you create this site and who is it for?

I created Trust Tending from a deep yearning to name, discover, and cultivate hopeful transformation in my life and lives beyond my own. I’m particularly interested in the transformation of fear, which manifests itself in so many ways: psychological blocks, compulsions, apathy, anger, depression, settling for small living when Something More is wanting to be lived in us, or, conversely, chasing after fame, fortune, productivity, or physical beauty as means of soothing the suspicion that we aren’t, indeed, enough.

I understand trust as fear’s antidote, and so created Trust Tending to be a community greenhouse, where people from many walks of life can putter around, consciously cultivating their own plots of trust or watching, talking with, and learning from others attempting to do the same. I work to make it a safe place for reflection, inspiration, and story telling.

How do you define trust?

I define trust as “a worldview of hope”, which includes assumptions like: I’m enough, I can heal, I can grieve, I can be happy, I’m lovable, I can take risks, I can say no, I can rest, I can pursue dreams, I’m not unhelpably stuck, my body is good, my age is right, I can start exactly where I am. Trust softens us, connects us with ourselves and each other, clarifies our vision, emboldens us to name and follow dreams, and opens us up to give and receive good things.

And fear?

I define fear as “a worldview of despair”, which includes assumptions like: being hurt (again) is the end of the world, people can’t be trusted, I’m fundamentally flawed, I’m ultimately alone (or will soon be), my story doesn’t matter (or only matters if…), I’m not enough, I can’t be loved or forgiven, chances only come around once, suffering always wins. Fear makes us tight and brittle, closes our hands and hearts, shrinks us into small living or makes us pretend we’re far bigger than we actually are. It’s the thing that keeps us from deep, transformative peace.

Isn’t “worldview” too strong a word to use here?

For both fear and trust, the term “worldview” can imply a type of permanence or stasis, which can and does apply to fear and trust for some people. But I’m wanting to include in my definition the more common experience of fear and trust being shifting, fluid things that come and go with mood and circumstance. Most of us move in and out of both many times throughout a day. “Lens” might be a better metaphor to use (“lens of hope” or “lens of despair”), but I like the way that worldview speaks to the all-encompassing nature of our outlooks when we’re dwelling in a state of fear or standing inside trust. The goal, of course, is to find a rooted home in a fertile field of trust.

What is the philosophy behind this site?

The most basic seeds of this are:

• Trust is the heart of what we need to live the lives we really want to live, and is what seeds our world’s most hopeful, inspiring stories.
• Trust can be cultivated in the smallest, humblest of ways, and in the midst of both tumultuous and mundane circumstances.
• As far as trust is concerned, the images and ideas with which we regularly prime ourselves matter. A lot.
• Trust is best cultivated in good company.
• Life beyond fear is possible.

Life beyond fear? Seriously??

Yes! By Life beyond fear I don’t mean life *free* of fear, but rather life that has established and maintained a) pathways leading out of fear and b) tools for finding and taking those pathways when fear hits.

If this sounds too fantastical to be true, I hope you stick around. I’d love to know what you think after reading here for a while.

For a post where I explore this concept further, click here.

How do you recommend I use this site?

If you’re someone who likes to understand the big picture, you can do this a few different ways:

• For the first seven months of this site’s life, I orbited posts around a different monthly theme. Click here to view that list of themes, and from that page, explore whatever themes strike your fancy.
• Click here to read introductions to each of the four categories I use for postings: interviews, rituals, meditations, and songs.
• Click here to learn more about me.

If you’d rather just poke around, go for it! I post here once per week, and you can read posts on the web, or sign up in the sidebar (under “connect”) to receive them by email.

Do you have a comments policy?

I do! First of all, I welcome active commenters as well as silent lurkers. Some of my most profound shifts toward trust have happened quietly, from a comfortable distance, and I trust that you’ll find what you need as you seek – here or elsewhere, verbally or in complete silence.

Secondly, I welcome all points of view and consider disagreement helpful in clarifying what we think and feel and know. So feel free to engage fully and honestly, but please also engage as heartily as you’re able – that is, with awareness that words can wound and none of us has arrived at some final place of wisdom or stupidity. I will protect the safety of this space by removing comments whose sharpness or velocity will likely do harm.