Surrender can sometimes feel like a major EVENT – an all-caps, black-or-white collapse into, “Fine. I give up,” or “YES. Just…yes.”
But I think far more often we experience it as a lengthy and layered unfolding.
I’m struck as I move through new layers of my own unfolding by the ways my efforting – the hard work I’ve done these last years to grow more conscious of my fears, to soften my tensed-up heart around spiritual pursuits, to launch and grow a business – by the ways this hard work has felt like the first leg of a relay race.
It lowered some of my defenses, healed some of my wounds, got me intensely aware of my wish for more ease, and able to finally verbalize that I want to inhabit a different way in the world than I’ve been inhabiting – a way that doesn’t eschew hard work, necessarily, but that is fueled by a powerful softness and openness to the mystery of Life/Spirit/Universe/Creation working in and through and around us all in ways I can’t plan for or predict.
Once I got to the brink of this latest surrender, though, it felt like a different part of me took the baton. A part of me that feels much more supple than the part that got me here – much less interested in trying to logic-mind every next step and much more interested in listening for and helping me align myself with “flow”.
And the hand-off! No mighty, all-caps event. Just a clear, quiet decision inside to put the baton of volition into the hands of something other than my tensed-up self. To say yes to the flow I’ve been resisting. Though potent, the movement was as subtle as standing in place, shifting weight from one foot to the other.
And I wonder whether you can situate your own life right now, or pieces of it, inside an unfolding of surrender…whether you can imagine your hard work or your struggle or worry taking you to a point of readiness to release your tight grip on life and open your arms to the sky.
…Whether your already-open arms might be speaking something to your heart about what flow might mean for you today and in the days that stretch toward your horizon.
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Each week I send a free print to one randomly-selected commenter. Comment on today’s post before this Friday at 12pm Pacific to be entered to receive a 5×7 print of today’s sketch. Winner will be announced Friday afternoon.
UPDATE: This random number generator gave me comment #11 is this week’s winner. Yay, Karen! Send me your snail mail address and I’ll put this in the mail to you.