More than just trying to cope

November 1, 2012

I recently had a conversation with a friend who’s been facing enormous challenges this year with breath-taking courage. I said something about my awe in her ability to cope with all she’s facing, and her response stays with me still.

I don’t want to just cope, she wrote.

I simply know, deeply, that we aren’t here to cope.

And so many spiritual practices (not to mention social constructs, mental health recommendations, etc. etc.) seem to me, to boil down to coping strategies.

I use them.

It helps.

I want more.

I know there’s more.

And I’m drawn to the stories/people/teachers/poems/whatever that point beyond successful coping, to an all-the-way existence of all-is-well.

Perhaps being in a how-do-I-cope experience is an ideal place to learn.

Yes. YES.

My heart thinks instantly of all those struggling to stand in Hurricane Sandy’s wake.

And as I think on my friend’s wise words, and on the cry of my heart to find a way into the reality that I glimpse here and there, that wafts past my awareness in unexpected moments, that all is deeply well, always – yes, somehow in and through our darkest hours – my motivation to tend trust is fanned into energizing, heart-warming flame.

I believe small steps, taken over time – whether we’re writing a book, or starting a business, or raising children, or learning to move our bodies again – add up. They transform us.

And learning to do more than “just cope”, learning to trust life DEEPLY, is no exception.

So here we are in a brand new month. Here we are at the outer edge of a brand new holiday season. And I’m ready to use these very weeks – these very weeks that have historically been so full of stress and trying-to-just-make-it-through for me – as a classroom for this very trust I want to learn.

This holiday practice is one conscious move I’m making to nourish trust this season and to keep my sights set there, rather than on the swirl of reasons-to-need-to-just-cope that whirl around me.

And I would love nothing more than your company in this practice and in the bigger picture of this more-than-just-coping path. Join me?

Are you new here? If so, welcome! This post is a great distillation of what I believe about trust. And if you’d like a free e-book on a core, trust-tending practice, click here. I’m so glad you stopped by!

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6 comments   |   Filed in: Meditations   |   Tags: ,   |  


  1. Oh, wow. My breath catches in my throat when I read this: yes, yes, yes. We are here to do more than just cope. Because ALL IS WELL. How I desperately want to know that, in a bone-deep way. Some days I do, and other days that reassuring knowledge slips away and I feel panic coming in instead … coming here helps to remind me. Thank you. xox

    Comment by Lindsey — November 1, 2012 @ 7:03 am
  2. Lindsey, I’m so with you. I was drying my hair this morning with tears on my cheeks from overwhelm. These messages are so deeply what I myself need reminders of.

    Comment by Kristin — November 1, 2012 @ 7:20 am
  3. So often, I love the innate wisdom of your posts here, Kristin. But this one really gets me, and may just be my favorite of all time. Also, the fact that your words were inspired by a friend and your thinking on that exchange with your friend really points to the universality of what you talk about here. This realization was born of community, will prosper in community, and applies to us all.

    Thank you, as always, for sharing your heart here.

    Comment by JC — November 1, 2012 @ 7:36 am
  4. JC, I LOVE this line: “This realization was born of community, will prosper in community, and applies to us all.” Yes 1000 times. We are so connected, all of us. Swimming in the same sea.

    Thanks for the gift of your words.

    Comment by Kristin — November 1, 2012 @ 9:06 am
  5. [...] More Than Just Trying to Cope by Kristin Noelle of Trust Tending [...]

    Pingback by End of Week Inspiration Plus How You Can Help Hurricane Victims « Live Wonderstruck — November 16, 2012 @ 4:19 am
  6. [...] More Than Just Trying to Cope by Kristin Noelle of Trust Tending [...]

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