This is the fourth of a series on sensual evolution. The first three articles are here, here, and here.

One of the biggest turn-ons for me in this wide, wide world is the process of growth and discovery. In my life, in dear ones’ lives, in people I don’t even know: show me someone learning and my heart catches fire.

I was raised in environments where right and wrong were bedrock assumptions, and beliefs that humans hold the difference between being inside the fold of God’s pleasure and pride, and somewhere distastefully beyond it.

But the longer I live, and the more consciously I observe my process of growth and the growth of those around me, the more difficult it becomes to draw lines around right/wrong, in/out, sacred and profane.

The more the process of growth itself becomes the “in”, the Holy, and the more none of us appear to be beyond it.

In the last 16 months I’ve watched with wonder and delight as Ev’Yan Whitney launched her business and blog, Sex, Love, Liberation, and devoted herself to:

It’s that last bit that so lights me up.

Ev’Yan has evolved right in front of us: sharing her perspectives, then living consciously and with curiosity and intention to share with us, again and yet again, the changes she’s made to her earlier assumptions.

This is a woman who hasn’t arrived anywhere but into an ongoing process of growth.

So maybe you do or don’t see things like she does. Maybe you’re threatened by some of the positions she takes. And maybe you’re just plain curious about where her life will take her. Any and all of the above are fine!

But in every case, she is a model of an unstuck and unsticking human being, opening heart and mind repeatedly to what life and people and her own bodily sensations can teach her about being deeply, beautifully, consciously alive to love.

Who knows where this will lead? Thank heavens she’s devoted her life to showing us!

I asked her one, pointed question for her interview today, and hope you’ll take the time to read the articles linked to the answers that most call to you. Each one expands beautifully on the lessons listed below.

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You’ve devoted yourself for the last 16 months to mindful growth as a sexual/sensual being. Can you share with us some of your understandings/beliefs that have evolved in that time?

+ I’ve learned that monogamy isn’t imperative to all relationships & that jealousy can be optional.

+ I’ve learned that pornography is a complex, tricky subject, & that its presence & influence on the minds & sexualities of others will always be an issue — both in a positive & a negative way.

+ I’ve learned that self-love is more of a journey than a destination, & that it takes time (& patience to cultivate).

+ I’ve gained a new perspective on sexual orientation & gender; that it’s not black & white, but very grey & fluid.

+ I’ve seen my own marriage shift to more openness & less possession. I’m able to entertain the idea of polyamory without breaking into hives because I have a better understanding of what it means to be within an interdependent relationship.

+ I’ve learned that sex is meant to be easy.

+ I’ve learned to view my sexuality as a spiritual practice.

+ I have seen the power of other people’s stories & have learned that we’re all much more alike than we think.

+ I’ve learned (& am still learning) to love my body, my belly, my skin.

Thank you, Ev’Yan, for these gifts. I’m inspired deeply by your story!

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Ev`Yan Whitney is a sexual liberation artist for women who are hungry for shameless sensual expression. With honeyed prose, she instigates brazen discussions about sexuality at her digital sanctuary, sexloveliberation.com, which serves as a lifeboat for those craving connection to their inner desires. Join her tribe of sensualists by signing up to the Self-Love Letters. You can also follow her on Twitter: @ev_yan.

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