This week I’m thinking a lot about angst, and particularly the flavor of it connected with seasons when you feel like you can’t do what you want to do fast enough (finish a project, launch a business, clean the damn house…) or get clarity about something as quickly as you’d wish. Here’s me talking about moves I’m making to tend trust around this type of angst.
(If video doesn’t appear above, click here to watch.)
What do you do when you feel hurry-up angst? And if you know the feeling and have zero sense of what to do about it, I’d love to hear your thoughts, too! What are you facing right now? Sometimes just naming it makes it feel better.
If you’re new here, welcome! I post articles once each week that explore trust, and how to nurture more of it. Signing up for my rss feed is a great way to get a feel for what happens here. I used to devote each month to a different theme, so if you’re interested in seeing those themes and an annotated page of articles for each one, click here. Again, my warmest welcome!
Everything Belongs
Seasons are universal. Treat yours uniquely.
Your sharing brings me hope. I’ve been following your articles for months now and the parallel of what your share and what is going on with my true self is amazing and humbling. It has brought me miles closer to self-acceptance and trust. I’m so grateful for the work you are doing.
Comment by Miranda — September 1, 2011 @ 7:42 amWow, Miranda, I could not wish for anything else! Thanks so much for your words.
xo
Comment by Kristin — September 1, 2011 @ 10:18 amWhat a great post, image & video Kristin. Far too often that hurry up angst swirls & pulls me in. The nut in my gut so often tightens in the middle of things, when there are countless details and my mind races.
Comment by bob c — September 1, 2011 @ 2:40 pmBob, what a joy to see you here! So with you on feeling pulled in by the angst sometimes. Here’s to feeling less and less controlled by it!
Comment by Kristin — September 1, 2011 @ 5:15 pm“What if this ‘almost’ season is exactly where I need to be?” LOOOOOVE it. You are fabulous–love the sunlight framing and the deep gift you give us here. Gorgeous. Thank you for giving us parts of you to help us find parts of us.
Comment by Dyana Valentine — September 1, 2011 @ 7:21 pmI always feel like I am in an almost season. I wonder if my denial of it is preventing me from moving past it. Thank you for helping me to embrace and honor this season of change. And possibility!!!!
xoxo
Comment by pamela — September 1, 2011 @ 8:44 pmDyana, thanks so much for your warmth. Would love to hear sometime what parts of you this pulls a veil from.
And Pamela can you say any more about being in denial of this sort of season? What has denial of it looked like for you? I’m wondering if all of us might benefit from (and find ourselves in…) understanding THAT situation more.
Comment by Kristin — September 1, 2011 @ 9:04 pmWell, I don’t LIKE feeling stuck or in an almost-season so I just don’t feel it and get really busy doing “things” (like sweeping the floor, surfing the internet, etc) so that I don’t feel it.
For me the almost-season is about removing a layer and moving forward. But removing a layer is scary because you (I) are vulnerable. So to avoid feeling vulnerable, I refuse to feel the feeling, but I also never fully remove the layer and thus, I stay stuck.
This fall – or almost-fall – I want to commit to just being in the almost-place and embracing that as you have so inspiringly put it. So far, I have been denying the “almost” but if you are never “almost” there, you are never there. And you are never here and now either.
Not sure if this makes sense, but it doesn’t make sense to me either.
Comment by pamela — September 1, 2011 @ 9:11 pmPamela, I just laughed out loud at your last line.
It actually makes sense to me, honestly! Such an irony, no?, that avoiding feeling our feelings can actually make them hang around in the background way longer.
Here’s me cheering you on in your embracing your almost this fall – with my whole heart. I have actually felt a strong sense of anticipation about your life for a couple of months now. I wonder what your next season will hold… :)
Comment by Kristin — September 1, 2011 @ 9:31 pmThanks for this, Kristin. Two words that kept coming to mind as i listened to you were: Limbo, and Transition. Both I would define as that space where you’ve left the familiar but are not yet totally at home in the new; it can be a really uncomfortable place. Sort of seemed like the “almost” space you are describing. One resource I’ve found helpful when I’m in those spaces is Julia Cameron’s book “Transitions: Prayers and Declarations for a Changing Life.”
It has seemed to me like patience is a key component here too. . .. . I also like your definition of trust as deep internal rest.. .. So nice to hear and see you sometimes in addition to reading what you write! Carry on!
Comment by Ellen — September 3, 2011 @ 7:01 amEllen, limbo and transition are really great words for this. And for some reason they make me feel even MORE unscandalized by my feelings while I’m in them; limbo and transition are *inherently* awkward times.
Patience connects so much too, and I have to also admit I have baggage with that word. In my life, patience has been used to describe something God/universe/Spirit intentionally, and with a hard, stern expression, tries to make us learn, throwing us hard circumstances just so we can learn it. You’re helping me realize I’d like to do something to get a fresher, less oppressive definition of it in my bones!
Comment by Kristin Noelle — September 3, 2011 @ 8:28 amOh yes, I hear you on patience. Ugh. I do wonder what it would be like to reclaim that word, and idea, in a fresh, restful kind of way that doesn’t have a “should” or a “stern parent” connotation but an invitational, life-giving, deep breathing kind of connection. I’m asking myself this too, as I can frequently get impatient with myself. . . What would it be like to rest as we wait in that “almost” place? Waiting– now there’s another word! It took on new meaning for me in my work with hospice, as I watch some amazing people “wait” with grace for the end of their lives, which sometimes is eagerly sought (and sometimes not, of course). Thanks for letting me think out loud with you here! :)
Comment by Ellen — September 3, 2011 @ 1:53 pmI like to stop and check whether there’s something else I really should be doing, and if not, then I soak up the moment because it’s exactly where I need to be.
I also remind myself sometimes that I am the sapling at this stage and I shouldn’t compare myself to the mighty oak.
Comment by J.D. Meier — September 3, 2011 @ 11:35 pmKristin this is beautiful. I relate to almost everything you just talked about here and have been trying to figure out what to do with the angst myself. I am realizing the resistance against the angst is the thing that is producing the most stress… I love your stance and am going to practice accepting/breathing into it to make it softer. I could use a little strength in my gut=)
Comment by Ruthie — September 8, 2011 @ 9:39 amThis was wonderful and timely. Thank you.
Moments reminded me of this book I have:
http://www.amazon.com/Between-Trapezes-Flying-into-Greatest/dp/1579549284/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315506425&sr=8-1
Maybe I should find it and finish it. I have recently been thinking of doing just that!
Comment by Nancy — September 8, 2011 @ 11:30 am