Hi everyone! I’m so glad to be back in this space! Moving is such an unmooring event that it feels good to have the hand-holds of this work to grab as I continue to unpack and orient myself to a new home and environment (have I told you we have chickens at our new place? Chickens! Five of them!).
I am SO looking forward to our theme here this month! I feel like I have a book to write about bodies, with some chapters lived and consciously thought already, and some yet to be discovered.
But beyond my personal interest in this subject, we – all of us – are such bodied creatures, so connected with the particular skin and bones, hair and muscles, fat and lungs and joints and brains and nerves and genitals and temperaments and aches and pains and marks and scars that all, at least by most measures, are ours and no one else’s.
And as bodied creatures we walk around every day with so much of us exposed – so much of us open to the opinions and responses of other people, and to our own wish to be able to hide or change some part (or parts) of it. Shame, to large or small degrees, pulses through most of us around some aspect of our physical beings (“physical” including things like temperament and body chemistry, too), and where there isn’t shame (and even where there is!), other emotions swirl around our body-thoughts, too: grief, frustration, anger, self pity, bitterness, jealousy, regret. Emotions ripe for trust to soothe and heal and breathe life and peace into.
I get this image of us all walking around with bandages around the parts of our physical beings that cause us emotional pain or discomfort, and honestly see bandages on every last one of us!
So. If you’re up for it, let’s see what trust we can grow around our bodies here this month. In the weeks ahead, I hope to do so by exploring things like:
- The relationship between our essential selves and our physical bodies.
- When our bodies betray us.
- Aging.
- Mood disorders, and how different these are often seen in society than other physical challenges.
- Temperament, and the feelings that accompany introversion and extroversion.
- Breasts, hair, skin, height, weight.
Sexuality is our theme here next month, so for the most part, I plan to leave conversations related to sexuality for then, even though bodies and sexuality aren’t two separate things.
Do you have something you’d like to see covered here this month? Or know of songs or websites that are doing great things related to growing trust and love around our bodies?
If so, I’d love to hear! Please share in the comments below, and if public comments aren’t your thing, by all means, feel free to send me an email. Click on “contact” in the menu bar above for an easy way to send me a note. I’ll be delighted to hear from you.
Here’s to you and to the miracle that is your body. Right now, just as it is. Just as you are.
Everything Belongs
Seasons are universal. Treat yours uniquely.
I’m so glad this is your theme as I think it’s a rich, complicated, and important topic. For me, personally, my relationship to my body grew much more serene after I had my children. I don’t know if that experience caused me to respect my physical self in a new way or if I simply had less energy and attention to give to angsting over it, but I like the direction I’m heading in. Maybe it’s simply midlife wisdom. That said, there are many aspects of aging that I profoundly dislike, and which cause me worry and sadness every day. I can’t wait to read what you share. xox
Comment by Lindsey — June 7, 2011 @ 9:14 amLindsey, I’ve found that to be true, too – more peace with my body after kids. It’s been strange in the last year, though, to notice that the body I’ve had frozen in my mind at about age 26 is definitely not 26 anymore.
Looking forward to your company this month!
Comment by Kristin — June 7, 2011 @ 9:17 amIs 26 a magic age?!!
Comment by Karah Fisher Madrone — June 7, 2011 @ 10:08 amI sometimes wonder if my whole sense of self is attached to the age 18-28 decade. As if that’s my reference point.
A sixty-something friend of mine identifies…says we humans tend to live with that “peak age” as our sense of who we are.
I find this fascinating, beautiful, and discouraging at this point.
Anyone else?
I wish to be in the moment…and envision myself thriving in the NOW.
And I appreciate that humans identify with their frisky-bodied, young-minded selves too.
And we’re so much more than our bodies…and if time is a construct, then age is a matter of perspective…
Curious whether others ponder these themes…
:-)
Karah, yes, I ponder them. So far it hasn’t been *too* hard to notice deepening wrinkles and less taught skin and move quickly from a knee-jerk “what??” to a “yes. yes. this is what human bodies do” perspective. And I wonder whether this will become more and more of a challenge as the aging process continues, or will become such a habit that I’ll age gracefully, thriving in the NOW, as you say.
And yes, if time is a construct, then we are always old and always young and always NOW. No reason to fret about the surface appearance of things. Much easier thought about than done, though, eh?
Comment by Kristin — June 7, 2011 @ 10:30 amHey Kristin-
Comment by Susan — June 7, 2011 @ 1:05 pmThis is a subject near and dear to my heart as I work with women of all ages who have experienced permanent hair loss. There is shame around the hair loss due to social stigmas (women can’t go around bald like men can), not feeling worthy, beautiful, etc., but then there is also guilt around cosmetically correcting the problem. What I know for sure, is that we are definitely harder on ourselves than anyone else, barring extreme abusive circumstances for sure.
Wow, shame about the “problem” and guilt about addressing it. What a catch-22! I really appreciate you talking about this issue…I want to incorporate the thoughts it sparks into this month’s reflections for sure.
And I think you’re so right: by and large we are so much harder on ourselves than other people. I wish there were a way to bottle that visceral knowledge up somehow and encourage everyone to take one with breakfast. I have a feeling we’d all be so much more at ease with ourselves.
Comment by Kristin — June 7, 2011 @ 1:27 pmI know this will only appeal to a small group of us, but the impact a disability/chronic disease has on body image is tremendous and something I have struggled with all my life. Even though I’m actually starting to feel “at home” in my own body (finally, at age 37!) and very strong physically, there are days when the scars and bumps and twisty spine are all I can see when I look in the mirror, even though most of those things aren’t apparent to the naked eye, unless I am walking- my phyical balance is shot so it takes me a while to “orient” myself when I’m up on my feet.
Comment by chel — June 7, 2011 @ 1:49 pmOh, this is so important and I think to more than just a small group! I feel like a whole month could be devoted to this one, and include chronic things like bi-polar and other mood disorders, as well as chronic pain and disability. Let’s do at *least* one post on this one this month!!
So glad you’re here!!
Comment by Kristin — June 7, 2011 @ 2:31 pmThanks so much for the invitation, Kristin!
Comment by Kat — June 7, 2011 @ 4:29 pmI really love the rituals you offer in this space, as ways in to seeing our worlds afresh. I’d love it if you could share a ritual for connecting with our bodies as they are in the moment.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t understand my body at all. I feel like I push it too hard, misunderstand the signals it is sending me, resent the way it forces me to witness the consequences of my actions (or inactions!).
Conversely, I feel like my body understands what’s happening in my soul much better than “I” do (by which, I guess I mean, “my mind”). Whenever I learn something new about myself, my brain processes it in an instant and is immediately onto the next thing… but a day or two later my body will force me — sometimes in the most dramatic ways — to slow down and really process what I have learnt, even if it is painful.
My body is so smart and I don’t feel I give it the respect and deference it deserves. I’d love to have your insight on this, and ways in which I could tap in to this powerful resource.
Thanks!
Kat, I love that idea. Let me think more on it and see if I can come up with something like that.
Comment by Kristin — June 7, 2011 @ 8:07 pmOh! I’m looking forward to reading more.
I’m glad you are getting settled in, just in time for the wonderful days of summer.
Comment by Christine @ Coffees & Commutes — June 8, 2011 @ 4:53 amSo glad for your company, Christine! And yes, just in time for summer. It’s late in the game, but I may even plant a summer garden. Joy!
Comment by Kristin — June 13, 2011 @ 3:37 pmI take medications that affect my metabolism and cause weight gain. I eat healthy and walk frequently, but still have gained 40 lbs over the past few years. I feel guilty. I feel lazy. I feel inadequate. The weight gain is not my fault, and I am doing all I can to counter it, but it is an uphill battle with the medications. How can I feel at home in my body; how can I treat it with love and respect and be happy with what I see in the mirror?
Comment by Camilla — June 16, 2011 @ 1:23 amI just read your comment #8 – my medications are for bipolar disorder, so I would love to see you address this and other mood disorders and chronic illnesses.
Comment by Camilla — June 16, 2011 @ 1:25 am[...] month, the topic is bodies. Today, the topic is short people. Although I am not an expert on trust, I do have 38 years of [...]
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