Holding tension with yesterday’s post about NOT heaving Big Lessons onto anyone is today’s post about butt-kicking. I’m going to let the video speak for itself, but wanted to quickly introduce our conversation partners today. In order of appearance, they are:
- Dyana Valentine: Dyana is a self-described professional instigator, based in Santa Monica, California. Her primary media include coaching and speaking, and just this month she launched a brand new business and show called Woke Up Knowing (you must check it out! I was soothed and inspired, both, by the very first show). Here blog and website are at www.dyanavalentine.com.
- Andrea Scher: Andrea is a creative entrepreneur, writer and life coach living in Berkeley, California. Through her company, Superhero Designs, and her award-winning blog, Superhero Journal, Andrea inspires other creative souls to live authentic, colorful and extraordinary lives. Andrea also co-facilitates Mondo Beyondo, a transformative (for me and so many others!) online course designed to unlock and give flight to your dreams.
Baby Nico: Andrea’s youngest son reveals his utter cuteness (again) in this cameo appearance. Heart-stopping raspberries not excluded.
- Tammy Strobel: Tammy, of Portland, Oregon, is the author of Simply Car-free and Smalltopia. A leader and instigator in the simplicity revolution, she hosts a warm, inspiring community at her site, RowdyKittens. “Social change through simple living” is the (perfect, in my mind) tag line there.
- Elese Coit: Elese is a transformational author, speaker, radio show host, and Master Transformative Coach. She specializes in training coaches and teaches classes in Peace of Mind and Wellbeing. Her international radio show, A New Way To Handle Absolutely Everything, airs each Friday (for those interested in growing trust, I highly recommend!). Learn more about Elese at www.elesecoit.com.
I hope you’ll consider yourself a person at this table, too! What do you think about butt-kicking? Have you had positive or negative experiences with it? Is there a helpful, trust-inducing place for it? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
(Those reading via email, click here to view the video. My first experiment with animation opens it up – I hope you’ll stop by and see! :)
Everything Belongs
Seasons are universal. Treat yours uniquely.
awwww, yeah! I actually WANT this kind of butt kicking–love the framing and the variety of our styles. Thank you for catalyzing change and looking at fear/opportunity in new ways, Kristin.
Comment by Dyana Valentine — May 18, 2011 @ 12:22 pmDyana, thank *you* for giving us such great food for thought. Loved our conversation together!
Comment by Kristin — May 18, 2011 @ 12:30 pmFun video! I loved the animation and music. Your coaches all did a great job. It was interesting that they each approached the topic a little bit differently. I usually don’t need my butt kicked by others, I’m able to do it myself. I agree with Elese that if you are working towards a goal that represents your authentic self and deepest passion that butt kicking is usually minimal..you’re motivated to get there without it. Let us know what term Dayna comes up with for that last big push/butt kick that puts you over the goal line. Her energy is amazing!
Comment by Evelyn — May 18, 2011 @ 12:56 pmEvelyn, yes! I’ll let you know if she comes up with something. :) And I agree with you so much: coercive tactics feel way less necessary when we have a strong internal motivation for something. I guess the fact that we’re complicated creatures does allow for *part* of us to be super motivated, while other parts drag their feet, though. I’m all for listening to the parts of us that hesitate – they could actually have important reasons for holding us back – but I think sometimes a loving butt-kick can help us live beyond the fears that aren’t really serving us. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but I think it’s true!
Comment by Kristin — May 18, 2011 @ 1:15 pmSo interesting the contrasting thoughts! I’ve mostly had good experiences with butt kicking (by self or others) though I think the negative times have to do a lot with me being tired (mentally and/or physically).
How about preparing for butt kicking?
I’m curious about the role of someone else kicking one’s butt, either in an “official” role like a coach or teacher, or “unofficial” role like a friend. I really appreciate it when my friends give me deadlines and encouragement. Or like last night when my husband made me veg out; I was seriously resisting and procrastinating. But as an unofficial butt kicker of others, I worry about kicking too hard or too often (resulting in sore butts/aka bruised egos).
Kinda fun talking about butt kicking!
Comment by Crissy — May 18, 2011 @ 1:28 pmOoo, Crissy, that’s a fascinating thought: training for butt-kicking. I think there’s something really important here! It could be that we quite literally gear ourselves up for butt-kicking mode: getting enough sleep, eating well, tending to our fears – so that when the butt-kicking happens, we can make the best use of it. That’s a big a-ha for me. Thank you! (I’m looking toward some coaching later in the summer and want to apply this as I get closer to it)
Comment by Kristin — May 18, 2011 @ 2:09 pmThanks for including me! You rock. :)
Comment by Tammy Strobel — May 18, 2011 @ 2:16 pmTammy, my pleasure! So glad we found a time to connect!
Comment by Kristin — May 18, 2011 @ 2:23 pmThis was excellent and thought provoking – - and consistently interesting! Loved the animation, too.
I frequently benefit from a butt-kicking in the sense of working all-out, feeling a bit beaten up, not sure of the outcome, and seeing glimmers of hope that my hard work has produced something with potential – - not perfect, but having potential. A good butt-kick can introduce the reality principle for what I am doing, and help me see what needs further work. In the long run, this is energizing. A butt-kicking that includes shame, from whatever source, sucks the energy right out of the process.
Lots to think about here!
Comment by Debora — May 18, 2011 @ 2:27 pmDebora, thanks for your kindness!
I think you got to the heart of the problem I have with butt-kicking but hadn’t named so well before: the shame that often comes with it. Taking that out of the equation changes everything for me. And I’m guessing that it takes a keen awareness on the part of the one doing the kicking to really see when shame gets triggered; triggers are often so different for different people that it’s hard to always anticipate what’s going to set it off.
So here’s what I’m into: Shameless butt-kicking. Sounds like a great tagline for a coach.
Comment by Kristin — May 18, 2011 @ 3:14 pmThis is great! Felt like I needed a butt-kicking today, and was feeling a little unsupported, as if I didn’t really have anyone who would tell me what’s what. Then poof, there you all are. So amazing, thank you. Feeling loved and un-alone again!
Love the animation!
Comment by janice — May 18, 2011 @ 7:05 pmJanice, your words here totally warmed my heart. I LOVE when things like that happen!!
(And I’m so glad you like the animation, too! :)
xoxo
Comment by Kristin — May 18, 2011 @ 8:48 pmsuch what I needed this morning ~ thank you to each and everyone who came to my aid this morning! what you are doing Kristin is so totally awesome!
Comment by stefanie renee — May 25, 2011 @ 9:09 amxox
Stef, so happy for your presence here! And glad that this was helpful! Here’s to loving butt-kicks when they’re needed. :)
Comment by Kristin — May 25, 2011 @ 10:26 amKristin- your animation was so fun and kicked butt! (wink) I am loving this discussion! loving it! thank you for bringing it to light.
Dyana- this was my first time hearing of you. you had me at hello. your energy is contagious. seriously. it is 8:00pm here and i all of a sudden feel like i could run a marathon. right now. “glitter bomb” new phrase i plan on adding into my life :)
Andrea- “holding a space for you to be great”…YUM. somthing to think about as i am interacting with others. do i hold that space for anyone? do i hold that for myself? or do i only hold that for those who have already done great things? good stuff to think about…thank you!
Tammy- accountability. that is what i call what you were referring to. i work best if i know i am being held accountable. not that that is the motivation (i’m only doing this because she is going to ask me about it next week) but there is something in knowing that there is a cheering section out there waiting for the next move.
Elese- totally hit the nail on the head for me. sometimes i feel like i live by the “if, then” moments instead of just finding the contentment in the now. i’m definitely an all or none, go big or go home person. i’m learning this has a good place and a not so good place. mostly not so good, but one step at a time. the awareness is new so baby steps as i move forward…
Comment by Jamie — May 25, 2011 @ 6:01 pmJaime, so HAPPY that this discussion is helpful for you!! It’s really transforming my way of viewing butt-kicking and help more generally, and I’m so glad for company in all of these “aha’s”. :)
Comment by Kristin — May 25, 2011 @ 8:00 pm[...] Kristin Noelle is all about inspiring and nurturing people to live life beyond fear, even if it means a little butt-kicking now and then. In this video, I join a group of motivating, change-making women to talk about butt-kicking and how I think, when it’s wielded properly, butt-kicking can be one of the most inspiring things in life. Watch it here. [...]
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