Today’s post is a song and ritual, both.
Last week we talked a lot about home here, exploring the value of getting “lost”, as well as some of the ways home can be comfortingly and wistfully defined, depending on whether or not you feel you’re there. We talked about the possibility of there being a heart’s home – how this might be the most possible (and wonderful) home there is.
I’m thinking today about this inner place, and how this “most possible home” can often be so hard to find. The stream of thoughts and fears that anyone who has attempted meditation knows well (and that Angela described so well in the comments on Friday) is with us nearly always. And even when it isn’t with us consciously, our inner dialogues are often the kinds of things we’d never say to those we don’t like, let alone to those we love (Are you seriously feeling that way AGAIN?? Wow, you truly screwed that up. Seriously? – no one could love THAT part of you.).
So here’s an idea for a ritual to help shift us homeward in that deep, inner sense of the word:
Pretend you aren’t just one person, but a community inside. Pretend all of the fearful and unfriendly voices in you are parts of that community, and that they have jobs assigned to them that so far have included the kinds of fearful, unfriendly things they tend to say.
Pretend there is a part of you, though, that isn’t unfriendly at all. Pretend there’s a part that is the safest, most trustworthy person you can imagine. Maybe that part is a woman with gray hair and kind eyes. Maybe it’s a large, gentle man. Maybe it’s some version of yourself at the age you are now that you would feel totally comfortable looking in the eye and receiving a glance of utter love from.
Now pretend that that safest, most trustworthy part of you is singing this song to all the others:
(Those reading via email, click here for video.)
Everything Belongs
Seasons are universal. Treat yours uniquely.
I love that song and this concept. It sounds like what Jen Lemen talked about in her interview about thinking of ourselves holding the our baby selves. Beautiful.
Comment by Amy — January 30, 2011 @ 6:53 pmThis is so beautiful – thank you! I just returned home from a meditation group and this is such a wonderful reminder that deep inside of us is a part that is always safe, that has never been wounded, and that is home.
This is a beautiful blog – I am going to catch up on all that I missed!
Peace,
Comment by pamela hunt — January 30, 2011 @ 7:52 pmPamela
A little over a year ago, I gave away all my things to a family that lost everything in a fire and took to the road. It was my version of starting over – reinventing myself. Since then, I’ve been traveling around the United States (and occasionally to Europe), exploring a variety of topics. One of the topics that comes up for me again and again (especially from curious readers) is what is it like not having a home?
At first, it was really scary and vulnerable. My life held a certain unpredictability and uncertainty that I had never known before. But as I started getting to know myself better. My real self, without all the trapping of status and conventionality – I started learning to honestly like and accept myself. Both the person I am, and the person I hope to be. And that’s when I discovered that for me – home isn’t a place – it’s a feeling that I can take with me. Whether I’m staying at a Bed and Breakfast in the country, or sleeping on a friend’s couch in Manhattan.
Thank you so much for this post. For the song. For helping me connect more deeply with myself. For giving us this open space filled with acceptance and love.
Comment by Erica — January 30, 2011 @ 10:35 pmI really enjoyed this post. Especially the last part. I like the idea of looking at yourself and those scary voices as part community. So, in a sense it dynamic but changeable. It is really something to think about. Peace.
Comment by keishua — January 31, 2011 @ 7:25 amThanks for the link to my comment:) It is always amazing to me how much synchronicity there is to life… so just the other night I was reading more of “The Places That Scare You” and what I read totally relates to today’s post… perhaps with a bit of a twist or maybe more of a twirl.
This is how Pema put it: “Placing our fearful mind in the cradle of loving-kindness.” She goes on to give the example of a mother bird who protects and cares for her young until they are strong enough to fly away… “We are both the loving mother and those ugly little chicks. It is easy to identify with the babies – blind, raw, and desperate for attention. We are a poignant mixture of something that isn’t all that beautiful and yet is dearly loved. Whether this is our attitude toward ourselves or toward others, it is the key to learning how to love. We stay (meditation) with ourselves and others when we’re screaming for food and have no feathers and also when we are more grown up and more cute by worldly standards.” She goes on about nurturing self-denigration and how motherly love is unconditional.
Perhaps this variation of the story could make for a good illustration for: Trust Is…
And that song… so beautiful. Thank you for sharing! Thank you for shedding light on life and helping all that are seeking to have more of it in our lives.
It takes ‘diligence’ as the Dali Lama often says… and ‘staying’ as Pema writes about.
Peace
Comment by Angela — January 31, 2011 @ 10:42 amLove these ideas. I hadn’t read for a few days and when I scanned the post titles and saw the idea of “home” resonating, the Night Mantra immediately came to mind. I love the peace and security in those words, and when I found it many months ago I loved singing it to my daughter.
Thank you, Angela, for your insightful comment and sharing those words. As I read, I was applying the telling to myself and my relationship with my kids.
Comment by JC — January 31, 2011 @ 3:15 pmI have to say that I’ve been every bit as helped and comforted by this song/ritual these last couple of days as anyone. Thanks, all, for your company on this path.
Yes, Angela: along with JC, I’m grateful for your quote and reflection. I love that image of being the loving mother and the little chicks, both.
And Erica, what an amazing “classroom” you’ve been in!! One few choose, but I’m guessing the lessons of which have really been worth it.
Comment by Kristin — January 31, 2011 @ 9:42 pmOh, this song really got me tonight. I listened to it over and over, watched the video of them singing, which is beautiful, and the one with the little girl. I thought of my own girls, who are sleeping pretty much with me all of the time these days, as they spend their two night or five nights at a time with me as we adjust to our whole new world. I thought of how this is the kind of song I wish I sang to them every night but don’t. How we can turn even the most beautiful of lullabies against ourselves in that critical mind. Ever softening. Home, even here, in someone else’s house. Thank you.
Comment by Jena — February 4, 2011 @ 8:51 pmKristin, this is the sweetest song ever. It made me love my home even more! Thank you!
Comment by Edgar Cabrera — February 5, 2011 @ 5:21 am