Comments on: Through the rain http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/ uncovering life's layers, exploring truth's terrain... Tue, 07 Oct 2008 05:31:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: Sage http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-162369 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 08:15:59 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-162369 Kristin, I am grateful for your honesty. When one person tells the truth about her life, the healing ripples out to all listeners. I felt a kind of balm from the raw emotion of this generously shared emotion. I do not yet have children, and there is so much I related to about your experience. And it stretches my heart wide with compassion that you lived this day. Blessings, love, light, and glorious wardrobes to you, Sage Kristin,

I am grateful for your honesty. When one person tells the truth about her life, the healing ripples out to all listeners. I felt a kind of balm from the raw emotion of this generously shared emotion. I do not yet have children, and there is so much I related to about your experience. And it stretches my heart wide with compassion that you lived this day.

Blessings, love, light, and glorious wardrobes to you,
Sage

]]> by: Kristin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-28435 Fri, 21 Dec 2007 06:15:55 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-28435 Thank you again, so much, Gail. I'm on the mend. To put to words how hard this week has been doesn't seem possible, but it feels like everyone has survived quite a few weeks like this, and from the looks of it, I have too. I will take your blessing to heart, and consider it my prayer, too. Thank you again, so much, Gail. I’m on the mend. To put to words how hard this week has been doesn’t seem possible, but it feels like everyone has survived quite a few weeks like this, and from the looks of it, I have too. I will take your blessing to heart, and consider it my prayer, too.

]]> by: GailNHB http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-28376 Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:59:59 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-28376 I hope and pray that you feel better soon. That you get lots of good and restorative sleep. That this Christmas brings you the gift of quietness, rest, and a new outfit or two. Wishing you everything you need and a few things you long for, Gail I hope and pray that you feel better soon. That you get lots of good and restorative sleep. That this Christmas brings you the gift of quietness, rest, and a new outfit or two.

Wishing you everything you need and a few things you long for, Gail

]]> by: Kristin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-27730 Tue, 18 Dec 2007 04:54:35 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-27730 Thank you all so much for your insights and encouragements!! They have meant the world to me as I've made my way through these last many days. I've been meaning to write another whole post, and in it thank you, and not leave things hanging so much, but alas. That has not happened. Right now I am sick, sick, sick, and need to go to bed while I have the chance. Know that I'm taking all of your words to heart, and am very much buoyed by them. Thank you all so much for your insights and encouragements!! They have meant the world to me as I’ve made my way through these last many days. I’ve been meaning to write another whole post, and in it thank you, and not leave things hanging so much, but alas. That has not happened. Right now I am sick, sick, sick, and need to go to bed while I have the chance. Know that I’m taking all of your words to heart, and am very much buoyed by them.

]]> by: Bridget http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-27687 Mon, 17 Dec 2007 22:42:47 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-27687 Hello, reading this took me back to those baby and toddler days when it takes three hours to get out of the front door, and you just want to run out into an open field and shout Aaaaaaaagh! (or is that just me) I think "be kind to yourself" is good advice, It definitely does get slowly easier and easier, The way I got through it was lists, I'd write a list of everything I needed to do in the day including "have a shower" "cook the tea" (my husband used to add things like "scratch bum" on the end.) then I would list them in the order of importance on the grand scale of things, then remove all the bottom ones leaving a manageable (very) few and add one thing I'd really like to do. For one thing you don't have to think for the rest of the day because it's all written out for you, you can just cross them off, and for another, you get to do something that isn't "necessary" Hello, reading this took me back to those baby and toddler days when it takes three hours to get out of the front door, and you just want to run out into an open field and shout Aaaaaaaagh! (or is that just me)
I think “be kind to yourself” is good advice, It definitely does get slowly easier and easier, The way I got through it was lists, I’d write a list of everything I needed to do in the day including “have a shower” “cook the tea” (my husband used to add things like “scratch bum” on the end.) then I would list them in the order of importance on the grand scale of things, then remove all the bottom ones leaving a manageable (very) few and add one thing I’d really like to do. For one thing you don’t have to think for the rest of the day because it’s all written out for you, you can just cross them off, and for another, you get to do something that isn’t “necessary”

]]> by: Paul M Martin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-27436 Sun, 16 Dec 2007 17:33:07 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-27436 Sorry to hear about your "heart problemed pregnancy" - hadn't heard of this before. One thing I've learned from incurable progressive illness is that apparently something like 95% of all wisdom amounts to different versions of "This too shall pass" - or at least it seems that way when you have something that won't pass! So if the problem is measured in days, weeks, months, or even, from my perspective, a few years (I'm into my fifteenth), focusing on the fact that it's going to end I think might be of some use. For serious problems with no end, there are ways of coming to terms with them. I prefer that phrase to "acceptance," which I find too cheery and willing-sounding to really apply, for example, to my relationship with my deteriorating health and functionality. Happy Holidays! Uh... just for a contrast with the preceding, which sounds so terrible when I reread it. Actually, one problem with big problems is that it can be hard to talk to people because they assume you must be overwhelmed. Like recently on the phone with an aunt: "No Aunt M, not any better... Yes, pain's as bad... No, my mom's not doing well either... Aunt M? Uh, Aunt M? (Who's now sounding on the verge of tears, as usual.) It's OK! I mean, I stopped crying about this years ago - really! Oh, yes, that's great that you pray for me every night, I really appreciate it. {Which I do. But sometimes, I wonder, couldn't we just talk about something else...??} Sorry to hear about your “heart problemed pregnancy” - hadn’t heard of this before.

One thing I’ve learned from incurable progressive illness is that apparently something like 95% of all wisdom amounts to different versions of “This too shall pass” - or at least it seems that way when you have something that won’t pass! So if the problem is measured in days, weeks, months, or even, from my perspective, a few years (I’m into my fifteenth), focusing on the fact that it’s going to end I think might be of some use.

For serious problems with no end, there are ways of coming to terms with them. I prefer that phrase to “acceptance,” which I find too cheery and willing-sounding to really apply, for example, to my relationship with my deteriorating health and functionality.

Happy Holidays! Uh… just for a contrast with the preceding, which sounds so terrible when I reread it. Actually, one problem with big problems is that it can be hard to talk to people because they assume you must be overwhelmed. Like recently on the phone with an aunt: “No Aunt M, not any better… Yes, pain’s as bad… No, my mom’s not doing well either… Aunt M? Uh, Aunt M? (Who’s now sounding on the verge of tears, as usual.) It’s OK! I mean, I stopped crying about this years ago - really! Oh, yes, that’s great that you pray for me every night, I really appreciate it. {Which I do. But sometimes, I wonder, couldn’t we just talk about something else…??}

]]> by: Heather http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-26180 Sun, 09 Dec 2007 02:52:37 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-26180 Oh my dear Kristin. I hope that you can be kind to yourself through this season. Whenever I look back at the former me during that first year after my second child was born, I want to go back there and hug that poor, exhausted, frantic woman. It was quite possibly the hardest year of my life, and my memory of it now is a blur of exhaustion. I want to whisper a reminder to the woman I once was to be kinder to herself and let go of some of the false expectations she clung to. I want to let her know that there are lots of bright spots on the road up ahead and that rest DOES come when the children are older, and there are even days in her future when there will be no more diaper changing or spit-up-wiping before a trip to the store. And some day I will probably look back at the present me and remind myself that this full-time-mom-full-time-career-woman-too-much-business-travel exhaustion will end some day too. At least I'm clinging to that hope. Peace to you. Oh my dear Kristin. I hope that you can be kind to yourself through this season.

Whenever I look back at the former me during that first year after my second child was born, I want to go back there and hug that poor, exhausted, frantic woman. It was quite possibly the hardest year of my life, and my memory of it now is a blur of exhaustion. I want to whisper a reminder to the woman I once was to be kinder to herself and let go of some of the false expectations she clung to. I want to let her know that there are lots of bright spots on the road up ahead and that rest DOES come when the children are older, and there are even days in her future when there will be no more diaper changing or spit-up-wiping before a trip to the store.

And some day I will probably look back at the present me and remind myself that this full-time-mom-full-time-career-woman-too-much-business-travel exhaustion will end some day too. At least I’m clinging to that hope.

Peace to you.

]]> by: GailNHB http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-26035 Sat, 08 Dec 2007 04:24:03 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-26035 What they said. And this: I often find myself - with my pre-teen and teenagers underfoot, with housework, with homeschooling, with a dog, with mother and mother-in-law trying to make me feel guilty for not spend more time with them, with the war, with the drought around here ( I would LOVE to have your downpours down here!), with all of that going on in and around me - I often find myself stopping, standing still, sitting still, and saying to myself: "This is your life, Gail. Live it. Breathe it. Cry. Laugh. Journal. Sit. Sleep. But remember, this is it. Right here, right now." It helps me enormously. Tremendously. And when my two were little, I cried. Drank tea. Nursed. Bathed them. Stayed home a lot. Went out when I could. And when it got overwhelming, I did what you did - I went home. Acknowledged that I needed more time, and then a few days later, I would try again. For me, there weren't any shortcuts. There weren't any formulae or plans or steps that worked more than a few times. Then I had to recalibrate and recalculate. And I had to accept each phase with its tears and laughter. Its struggles and victories. You said it so well: "to accept the challenges I face as what is my 'is' – to somehow, even in the midst of the occasional or constant bout of tears or chafing at my 'is,' nestle into it, or at the very least look it in the eye and shake its hand and say, 'Here we are. So here, in fact, we are.'" This is your "is." This is where you are for now. Right where you are, with all that you are feeling right now, I wish you peace and sleep and new clothes that make you feel as fabulous as you already are. In the meantime, you remain in my thoughts and prayers. What they said.

And this: I often find myself - with my pre-teen and teenagers underfoot, with housework, with homeschooling, with a dog, with mother and mother-in-law trying to make me feel guilty for not spend more time with them, with the war, with the drought around here ( I would LOVE to have your downpours down here!), with all of that going on in and around me - I often find myself stopping, standing still, sitting still, and saying to myself: “This is your life, Gail. Live it. Breathe it. Cry. Laugh. Journal. Sit. Sleep. But remember, this is it. Right here, right now.” It helps me enormously. Tremendously.

And when my two were little, I cried. Drank tea. Nursed. Bathed them. Stayed home a lot. Went out when I could. And when it got overwhelming, I did what you did - I went home. Acknowledged that I needed more time, and then a few days later, I would try again. For me, there weren’t any shortcuts. There weren’t any formulae or plans or steps that worked more than a few times. Then I had to recalibrate and recalculate. And I had to accept each phase with its tears and laughter. Its struggles and victories.

You said it so well: “to accept the challenges I face as what is my ‘is’ – to somehow, even in the midst of the occasional or constant bout of tears or chafing at my ‘is,’ nestle into it, or at the very least look it in the eye and shake its hand and say, ‘Here we are. So here, in fact, we are.’” This is your “is.” This is where you are for now.

Right where you are, with all that you are feeling right now, I wish you peace and sleep and new clothes that make you feel as fabulous as you already are. In the meantime, you remain in my thoughts and prayers.

]]> by: Robin M. http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-25941 Fri, 07 Dec 2007 16:55:33 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-25941 What Heidi said. Plus three thoughts of my own. One: this is why they invented pre-school. You thought it was all about developmental challenges for the child, didn't you? Oh no. It's also about maternal sanity. :-) Actually, I'm sure you did know that, I'm just kidding. I'm not kidding when I say that I'd be happy to chase a child AND push a stroller around the park for you one of these days while you take a walk all by yourself. For as long as you could stand it. Two: online shopping. Land's End. Overstock section means on sale. Good social responsibility and solid construction. You can sort by Tall sizes. You can order anything that looks good, try it on in the semi-privacy of your own home and return anything you don't like at the nearest Sears. Three: This summer, a friend gave me a gift certificate for a month at her yoga studio. I procrastinated until five days before the certificate expired, but it turns out that yoga is what I needed in this holiday period. I couldn't have done this when I was so newly delivered but now it is part of my current commitment to sanity. No, four thoughts. Bach. I find the orderly progression of his music to be soothing and gently stimulating. Plus there's no words that I'm irritated to miss if my kid comes and interrupts me just at the key point of the story/song. Holding you in the Light, Robin What Heidi said.

Plus three thoughts of my own.

One: this is why they invented pre-school. You thought it was all about developmental challenges for the child, didn’t you? Oh no. It’s also about maternal sanity. :-) Actually, I’m sure you did know that, I’m just kidding. I’m not kidding when I say that I’d be happy to chase a child AND push a stroller around the park for you one of these days while you take a walk all by yourself. For as long as you could stand it.

Two: online shopping. Land’s End. Overstock section means on sale. Good social responsibility and solid construction. You can sort by Tall sizes. You can order anything that looks good, try it on in the semi-privacy of your own home and return anything you don’t like at the nearest Sears.

Three: This summer, a friend gave me a gift certificate for a month at her yoga studio. I procrastinated until five days before the certificate expired, but it turns out that yoga is what I needed in this holiday period. I couldn’t have done this when I was so newly delivered but now it is part of my current commitment to sanity.

No, four thoughts. Bach. I find the orderly progression of his music to be soothing and gently stimulating. Plus there’s no words that I’m irritated to miss if my kid comes and interrupts me just at the key point of the story/song.

Holding you in the Light,
Robin

]]> by: Heidi Renee http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-25918 Fri, 07 Dec 2007 12:56:19 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2007/12/06/through-the-rain/#comment-25918 Oh how I remember this time. Peace upon you sister. Probably the only thing I could even add is to be gentle to yourself. You don't have to have it all figured out. You are literally at THE most difficult stage of parenting two kids that anyone ever goes through. Your processing it, being honest and surrounding yourself with people who love you - those are all great things. Keep doing this and the fog (and clouds) will pass. And if they don't get help. I didn't. For. a. long. time. I was severely post-partum after my second child. Severely. Reading your words brought me back there so quickly. I had forgotten the chaos, the pathos and the questioning. You can do this, and you will do this with vibrant, flying colors. This is what you were made for! Oh, that and find some time in your day for the contemplative you. Thanks for sharing! I'll be holding you in the light today. Oh how I remember this time. Peace upon you sister. Probably the only thing I could even add is to be gentle to yourself. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You are literally at THE most difficult stage of parenting two kids that anyone ever goes through.

Your processing it, being honest and surrounding yourself with people who love you - those are all great things. Keep doing this and the fog (and clouds) will pass. And if they don’t get help. I didn’t. For. a. long. time. I was severely post-partum after my second child. Severely.

Reading your words brought me back there so quickly. I had forgotten the chaos, the pathos and the questioning. You can do this, and you will do this with vibrant, flying colors. This is what you were made for! Oh, that and find some time in your day for the contemplative you. Thanks for sharing! I’ll be holding you in the light today.

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