Comments on: (Un)ravelings, or the alchemy of trust http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/ uncovering life's layers, exploring truth's terrain... Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:45:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: mr skin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1513 Tue, 07 Nov 2006 18:24:07 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1513 I think it's about time they did a remake of Blade Runner, or came out with a second version. I think it’s about time they did a remake of Blade Runner, or came out with a second version.

]]> by: Kristin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1492 Mon, 30 Oct 2006 20:21:21 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1492 Thank you Lori! I really like this image you've painted of mediation/reconciliation. It makes me want to think more about this, and the idea of actually initiating voicing my fears in tense situations with people in my life. Surely there are times when that isn't appropriate, but maybe there are more times than we think that it is, and when that's exactly what's needed--maybe the only thing that can truly be effective--to lower tension and get people dealing gently with the real things that both parties feel are at stake. Thanks for pushing my thoughts further on this. Thank you Lori! I really like this image you’ve painted of mediation/reconciliation. It makes me want to think more about this, and the idea of actually initiating voicing my fears in tense situations with people in my life. Surely there are times when that isn’t appropriate, but maybe there are more times than we think that it is, and when that’s exactly what’s needed–maybe the only thing that can truly be effective–to lower tension and get people dealing gently with the real things that both parties feel are at stake. Thanks for pushing my thoughts further on this.

]]> by: Lori http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1490 Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:25:27 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1490 Your sense of personal mission in the world is so beautiful, Kristin. And it seems quite insightful to me: it recognizes a deeper commonality that if we could get in touch with, would probably help to change the way conflict is handled. I'm imagining a tense situation, maybe a family counseling session, or a victim-offender reconciliation, where each person is just barely holding back their hurt and frustration. But if someone, a mediator, could stop and ask, "what are we all afraid of? Can each of us name a fear right now, get it out into the open?" I think that there would all of a sudden be this moment of unveiling (hey, maybe that was a subconscious reason for your previous blog) of the connectedness of everyone. Like if you can see that the parent that has hurt you, is afraid that you won't like them, it somehow helps you to see them as more human, less an adversary. So I like this work you are doing, and stand behind it with my full support!! The fact that there are people in the world who give a shit about doing this kind of thing makes me happy. Its also inspiring to see you put into words what you see yourself about in the world; having a sense of what you want to contribute seems so helpful in guiding action and work. Looking forward to seeing where this takes you! Your sense of personal mission in the world is so beautiful, Kristin. And it seems quite insightful to me: it recognizes a deeper commonality that if we could get in touch with, would probably help to change the way conflict is handled. I’m imagining a tense situation, maybe a family counseling session, or a victim-offender reconciliation, where each person is just barely holding back their hurt and frustration. But if someone, a mediator, could stop and ask, “what are we all afraid of? Can each of us name a fear right now, get it out into the open?” I think that there would all of a sudden be this moment of unveiling (hey, maybe that was a subconscious reason for your previous blog) of the connectedness of everyone. Like if you can see that the parent that has hurt you, is afraid that you won’t like them, it somehow helps you to see them as more human, less an adversary.

So I like this work you are doing, and stand behind it with my full support!! The fact that there are people in the world who give a shit about doing this kind of thing makes me happy. Its also inspiring to see you put into words what you see yourself about in the world; having a sense of what you want to contribute seems so helpful in guiding action and work. Looking forward to seeing where this takes you!

]]> by: Kristin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1489 Sat, 28 Oct 2006 21:21:51 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1489 Sage, hopefully a pierced heart is a good thing... Bless you in your own warrior's work. I sense you're at it. Rebecca, yes--experiencing pain has been my most potent instigator of being afraid of experiencing it again. I so relate. I can say that finding healing at different points has given me hope and a certain kind of peace about the possibility that future pain might also have relief, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I really, really, don't want to experience deep pain again. I think you're so right, too, in the way that awareness of our fears can help us a lot in avoiding acting unhealthfully on them. Here's to waking up, so that our literal sleep can be the best, most restful kind! :) Sage, hopefully a pierced heart is a good thing… Bless you in your own warrior’s work. I sense you’re at it.

Rebecca, yes–experiencing pain has been my most potent instigator of being afraid of experiencing it again. I so relate. I can say that finding healing at different points has given me hope and a certain kind of peace about the possibility that future pain might also have relief, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I really, really, don’t want to experience deep pain again.

I think you’re so right, too, in the way that awareness of our fears can help us a lot in avoiding acting unhealthfully on them. Here’s to waking up, so that our literal sleep can be the best, most restful kind! :)

]]> by: Rebecca http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1488 Sat, 28 Oct 2006 20:24:40 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1488 Sounds like I was in the same city as Heather last week, and I also did not go to the big FG celebration. I would not have minded the music, but was not willing to sit through anything else in order to hear that, Fear...my biggest one is a fear of pain emotional pain sometimes I think I have had enough and that is what triggers that. Then of course it has all those ugly little tentacles that go here, there and everywhere.. I am happy that at this point in my life I can recognize it, for then that goes a long way with trying to overcome the stupid thing!! Sounds like I was in the same city as Heather last week, and I also did not go to the big FG celebration. I would not have minded the music, but was not willing to sit through anything else in order to hear that,
Fear…my biggest one is a fear of pain
emotional pain
sometimes I think I have had enough and that is what triggers that.
Then of course it has all those ugly little tentacles that go here, there and everywhere..
I am happy that at this point in my life I can recognize it, for then that goes a long way with trying to overcome the stupid thing!!

]]> by: Sage http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1486 Fri, 27 Oct 2006 05:16:49 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1486 Brilliant, this: I think trust is allergic to many of the concepts of God that we work hard to feel loved by. Navigating fear; cultivating trust. This is warrior's work. Thank you for your clean blade of truth. It has pierced my heart. Brilliant, this: I think trust is allergic to many of the concepts of God that we work hard to feel loved by.

Navigating fear; cultivating trust. This is warrior’s work. Thank you for your clean blade of truth. It has pierced my heart.

]]> by: Kristin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1485 Fri, 27 Oct 2006 04:43:03 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1485 Hadashi, so nice to hear your voice again! I think you're so right: peace and trust really do get lost in translation. I love the way you've described a deeper kind of listening, and the safeguard this can be against misunderstanding and being misunderstood. Heather, thanks so much for the blessing. Yes, it is a deep grief that people with so much influence paint such scary pictures of God. I grieve with you. I hope the sickness you feel can be a kind of counter-story in your town, doing the undoing work that it sounds like might need to happen there. Robin, thank you for the commendation! I will happily go check out these links! Hadashi, so nice to hear your voice again! I think you’re so right: peace and trust really do get lost in translation. I love the way you’ve described a deeper kind of listening, and the safeguard this can be against misunderstanding and being misunderstood.

Heather, thanks so much for the blessing. Yes, it is a deep grief that people with so much influence paint such scary pictures of God. I grieve with you. I hope the sickness you feel can be a kind of counter-story in your town, doing the undoing work that it sounds like might need to happen there.

Robin, thank you for the commendation! I will happily go check out these links!

]]> by: Robin M. http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1484 Fri, 27 Oct 2006 04:24:53 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1484 Hi! I want to commend to you a blog by one of my Quaker heroes, Peggy Senger Parsons. She is the pastor of an intentionally lgbt inclusive evangelical Friends church in Oregon. These are three of her posts, <a href="http://sillypoorgospel.blogspot.com/2006/09/worshipping-at-idol-of-safety.html" rel="nofollow">Worshipping at the Idol of Safety</a> and <a href="http://sillypoorgospel.blogspot.com/2006/09/how-i-became-invincible.html" rel="nofollow">How I Became Invincible</a> and <a href="http://sillypoorgospel.blogspot.com/2006/10/my-favorite-super-powers.html " rel="nofollow">My Favorite Superpowers</a>. Oh heck. Just read the whole thing. Fearlessness is one of her favorite topics. And she's funny. Hi! I want to commend to you a blog by one of my Quaker heroes, Peggy Senger Parsons. She is the pastor of an intentionally lgbt inclusive evangelical Friends church in Oregon.

These are three of her posts, Worshipping at the Idol of Safety and How I Became Invincible and My Favorite Superpowers.

Oh heck. Just read the whole thing. Fearlessness is one of her favorite topics. And she’s funny.

]]> by: Heather http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1483 Fri, 27 Oct 2006 03:06:08 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1483 You're a wise woman with a noble and brave calling. Blessings to you. I've done a fair bit of soul-searching about fear in my journey too, especially when it comes to fear in religion. My understanding of god has evolved alot since my evangelical upbringing. This past weekend, Franklin Graham was in our city for one of his big festivals, and the whole thing left me with a deep sadness. I didn't go to the festival, but everything I heard and read about it indicated that his only message was one of fear and judgement. He painted a picture of a god who will judge and condemn people to destruction if they do not repent. I'm not sure why, but the whole thing has left me feeling kind of sick inside - mostly because he drew crowds of thousands and caused quite a stir in the city. I just think how much good an influential man like him could do if he came with a message of love and peace and justice instead. You’re a wise woman with a noble and brave calling. Blessings to you.

I’ve done a fair bit of soul-searching about fear in my journey too, especially when it comes to fear in religion. My understanding of god has evolved alot since my evangelical upbringing.

This past weekend, Franklin Graham was in our city for one of his big festivals, and the whole thing left me with a deep sadness. I didn’t go to the festival, but everything I heard and read about it indicated that his only message was one of fear and judgement. He painted a picture of a god who will judge and condemn people to destruction if they do not repent. I’m not sure why, but the whole thing has left me feeling kind of sick inside - mostly because he drew crowds of thousands and caused quite a stir in the city. I just think how much good an influential man like him could do if he came with a message of love and peace and justice instead.

]]> by: hadashi http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1482 Fri, 27 Oct 2006 01:44:32 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/10/26/unravelings-or-the-alchemy-of-trust/#comment-1482 nice to come back after a long while with no internet and find a new site. it looks great. loved catching up on the Birds of a Feather threads; coming back as i just have from a non-English speaking country, the idea of speaking the same language occurs. a lot of times i think that when people think they are having a dialogue about spiritual/philosophical/political/etc. differences and it devolves into shreikings and howlings, it's because there's an assumption the languages are the same, and they aren't. so many times i have found myself translating Conservative-Evangelical-Christianese into Postmodern-Searching-Nonreligiousese and wondering: if not for translation, how much of this conversation would be rejected? i think this applies to fear as well: we all fear being misunderstood, especially if we're being vulnerable or transparent. the work of cultivating trust, i think, is to listen carefully, to hear between the lines, so to speak, so that i can alleviate fear in myself that i'm not understanding or being understood. and taking the time to understand myself too. nice to come back after a long while with no internet and find a new site. it looks great.
loved catching up on the Birds of a Feather threads; coming back as i just have from a non-English speaking country, the idea of speaking the same language occurs. a lot of times i think that when people think they are having a dialogue about spiritual/philosophical/political/etc. differences and it devolves into shreikings and howlings, it’s because there’s an assumption the languages are the same, and they aren’t. so many times i have found myself translating Conservative-Evangelical-Christianese into Postmodern-Searching-Nonreligiousese and wondering: if not for translation, how much of this conversation would be rejected?
i think this applies to fear as well: we all fear being misunderstood, especially if we’re being vulnerable or transparent. the work of cultivating trust, i think, is to listen carefully, to hear between the lines, so to speak, so that i can alleviate fear in myself that i’m not understanding or being understood. and taking the time to understand myself too.

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