Comments on: Life in an age of anxiety http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/ uncovering life's layers, exploring truth's terrain... Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:39:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: Kristin http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-371 Wed, 07 Jun 2006 20:03:44 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-371 Thanks for all of your thoughts. Hannah, I'm so glad for you. Your time with those women sounds really healing. It really is hard to be needy sometimes, and hard to face our own limitations. Being a mom is challenging me in similar ways. Thanks for all of your thoughts. Hannah, I’m so glad for you. Your time with those women sounds really healing. It really is hard to be needy sometimes, and hard to face our own limitations. Being a mom is challenging me in similar ways.

]]> by: Hannah http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-370 Tue, 06 Jun 2006 16:28:29 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-370 Hello, I am going through some of your old stuff as I find much of what you have to say resonating with me, where I am, right now. Just last night, I was at women's discipleship and I was overwhelmed with how tired I am. (I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my first and I just can't seem to get enough sleep!!) Here I was, fighting to keep my eyes open at 10PM but wanting to share every moment with these beautiful women in my group. I apologized to everyone for being so out of it. Being good women, they didn't let me stop there. We talked about why I was feeling guilty for things that are definitely out of my control. I realized that I am expecting to continue to do everything that I did as a young married woman as a young, new momma. Instead of re-evaluating my life with this little one (who thankfully still has quite some time to go before we meet), I was just expecting to keep on trucking on in my current path, knowing that there is absolutely no room in it for a baby. And here I am feeling guilty for having to bow out of things that I normally do b/c of this change I have in my life. I think part of my own problem with this is that I love the things that I do now and that I am scared to death of what this change is going to do to my life. So I'm doing my best to continue to operate at pre-baby levels so maybe I won't have to think about the impending change. It also seems to be about weakness. If I were strong and capable, I wouldnt have a problem keeping up with my meetings, volunteer stuff and other activities I fill my week up with; so if I holler for help, "they" will know I'm not as strong and capable as they think I am. They will know I'm weak. Last night, when I cried out for help to my friends, they stayed with me. They didn't call me weak, or make fun of me, or dismiss my concerns. They surrounded me with love and hugs and murmuring words of encouragement. I'm still scared of what January is going to mean for me, but at least I know I have a group of friends who love me and who don't care in the least if some of my priorities fall into the background. Hello, I am going through some of your old stuff as I find much of what you have to say resonating with me, where I am, right now. Just last night, I was at women’s discipleship and I was overwhelmed with how tired I am. (I’m 9 weeks pregnant with my first and I just can’t seem to get enough sleep!!) Here I was, fighting to keep my eyes open at 10PM but wanting to share every moment with these beautiful women in my group. I apologized to everyone for being so out of it.
Being good women, they didn’t let me stop there. We talked about why I was feeling guilty for things that are definitely out of my control. I realized that I am expecting to continue to do everything that I did as a young married woman as a young, new momma. Instead of re-evaluating my life with this little one (who thankfully still has quite some time to go before we meet), I was just expecting to keep on trucking on in my current path, knowing that there is absolutely no room in it for a baby. And here I am feeling guilty for having to bow out of things that I normally do b/c of this change I have in my life.
I think part of my own problem with this is that I love the things that I do now and that I am scared to death of what this change is going to do to my life. So I’m doing my best to continue to operate at pre-baby levels so maybe I won’t have to think about the impending change. It also seems to be about weakness. If I were strong and capable, I wouldnt have a problem keeping up with my meetings, volunteer stuff and other activities I fill my week up with; so if I holler for help, “they” will know I’m not as strong and capable as they think I am. They will know I’m weak.
Last night, when I cried out for help to my friends, they stayed with me. They didn’t call me weak, or make fun of me, or dismiss my concerns. They surrounded me with love and hugs and murmuring words of encouragement. I’m still scared of what January is going to mean for me, but at least I know I have a group of friends who love me and who don’t care in the least if some of my priorities fall into the background.

]]> by: Robin M. http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-369 Mon, 27 Feb 2006 05:05:58 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-369 Hi! I referred to this post in my ministry in meeting for worship last week, so I thought maybe I should come back and tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking of another friend, a very successful man, who was recently caught with metamphetamines, in part because I think he felt that even his considerable talents were not enough. I was also reflecting on how sad the movie Brokeback Mountain is, which I had just seen, and how the men in it felt the pressure to be who they weren't and their fear to be who they are. I was thinking about my Meeting, that is sometimes afraid that we are not enough and afraid to be who we really are. I think you're right, that this is a culture-wide poison. But I think there is a special strain of it for college educated mothers - who have spent a lot of time and energy and ambition in preparation for a career that wasn't motherhood, but who have switched to a mothering course without understanding that success is really going to look different now. I'm too tired to write this clearly enough, but this is an important point for me. I know too many women who are thinking that their children have to be involved in x, y and z activity, in order to be successful. I succumb to it myself from time to time. Forgetting that just like I know that I can not have the most high pressure job and be a full time mother and a great wife and houseworker and minister - all at the same time - I can't expect that my children will learn to swim and play the piano and read the Bible and value their natural surroundings and (fill in the blanks here) all in the same week (or year!)- and still be sane and happy. The rules of engagement have changed, but our standards of success have not. I'm still hoping to someday have a mommy playdate with you. Hi! I referred to this post in my ministry in meeting for worship last week, so I thought maybe I should come back and tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking of another friend, a very successful man, who was recently caught with metamphetamines, in part because I think he felt that even his considerable talents were not enough. I was also reflecting on how sad the movie Brokeback Mountain is, which I had just seen, and how the men in it felt the pressure to be who they weren’t and their fear to be who they are. I was thinking about my Meeting, that is sometimes afraid that we are not enough and afraid to be who we really are.

I think you’re right, that this is a culture-wide poison. But I think there is a special strain of it for college educated mothers - who have spent a lot of time and energy and ambition in preparation for a career that wasn’t motherhood, but who have switched to a mothering course without understanding that success is really going to look different now. I’m too tired to write this clearly enough, but this is an important point for me. I know too many women who are thinking that their children have to be involved in x, y and z activity, in order to be successful. I succumb to it myself from time to time. Forgetting that just like I know that I can not have the most high pressure job and be a full time mother and a great wife and houseworker and minister - all at the same time - I can’t expect that my children will learn to swim and play the piano and read the Bible and value their natural surroundings and (fill in the blanks here) all in the same week (or year!)- and still be sane and happy. The rules of engagement have changed, but our standards of success have not.

I’m still hoping to someday have a mommy playdate with you.

]]> by: tonya http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-368 Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:22:48 +0000 http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2006/02/17/life-in-an-age-of-anxiety/#comment-368 i'm not a mom yet, but can relate anyway. i will pass this post on to some of my mommy friends. thanks for the insight. i’m not a mom yet, but can relate anyway. i will pass this post on to some of my mommy friends. thanks for the insight.

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