For every purpose under the sun
I’m in a strange season right now. I’m loving my baby so much. I’m loving the time I’m spending writing each week (three afternoons). Out of necessity I’m feeling more efficient with household tasks than I’ve ever been, which for me is a real accomplishment (just ask my husband sometime about my issues with laundry…). And I’m enjoying good friendships and feeling hopeful about new ones on the horizon.
At the same time as all of this, I feel like I’m in a waiting stage. Waiting for the baby and us to develop some predictable eating and sleeping patterns. Waiting to feel more in touch with myself (seems like every time I go to journal, I’m either too exhausted to go through with it, or the baby needs something one paragraph in). Waiting to reconnect with my public and intellectual lives. I feel restless in all of this waiting, and also just too tired to actively do much about it.
So this here blog will continue to wait alongside me, I guess. For inspiration, for insight, for words to put to the things going on in and around me. If posts are fewer, it’s because of the nature of this season. We’ll see if in the midst of all the sparseness a few fat fruits spring up. Like all those plump persimmons sprinkled through the trees.
November 5th, 2005 at 8:27 pm
i recently returned to journaling (now that carter is in school) only to find months and months of half-finished entries from the years before–sometimes half-written sentences! the funny thing was having to slow down so much with kids taught me how to do that quiet kind of reflecting off the page–while diapering, doing dishes, driving, cleaning–all the things i had rushed through before without thinking. and when i did have the urge or space to write, the sentences flew right to the page. the words were ripe in my head. now that i have the time, i feel like i have to reach for them! what irony!
i know you feel like you are waiting, waiting, but even these sentences here are so beautiful and so rich. the fruit is right here for the picking. blessings, friend.
November 9th, 2005 at 8:44 pm
You are definitely in the mother season and for many more months, your time will rarely be your own unless you have a helper. One of my daughters-in-law, a clinical psychologist, has decided to stay home until the two babies go to school– 2 1/2 and 1. I get such a big kick out of her pretty much leaving behind the professional life she had–and making raising those boys a profession.
I look forward to reading what you write when you find a block of time to write. Thinking of you.
November 14th, 2005 at 7:52 am
Yeah I can relate to all that - sometimes its like why did we have a kid, were we temporarily crazy to put one life on hold (or so it feels at times) and take up another alien one… in fact so crazy that we are doing it again just when we are getting freedom back and living a settled routine in the salad days of parenting!
I caught a Rich Nathan sermon off Columbus vineyard website about how kids teach and train their parents - well worth checking out - basicially havin kids is like an intensive training programme run by God to grow love, joy, patience etc!!!
Now its starting to make sense!